You’re there. You contacted a life coach. You reached out and asked for help. You recognize the want to change within yourself.
There are now doubts. You say things like “My life isn’t that bad… There are so many things that are good for me right now… it’s going to be hard work… I don’t know if I can afford it… will it be worth it?”
Do. Not. Listen. To. These. Thoughts.
This is your ego and your resistance.
When anyone starts to make a change, the ego will rise up and try to keep things the way they are. It will do anything and everything to sabotage this change. The ego likes the way things are. It likes stability and that is what it has right now; it knows what to expect even if you are starting to feel like you deserve more.
When obstacles come up, this is your chance to recognize them and deal with them in a different way than you have in the past. Talk to your ego. Tell it you see it and hear it. You acknowledge that it is scary and you understand. It likes things the way they are. It’s easier to stay the same than to change. Change requires effort, risk, and belief that things are better after the change. Ask your ego to trust you and be open to this new idea and change.
Talking to your ego like it is separate from you is weird but also helpful. I read a lot of books. A theme I am gathering is this thought of the ego is ultimately in control of many things. Over and over I hear and read stories of obstacles or sabotage when people are making big changes. We often think if we are making big life changes, everything has to go right or we won’t be able to make the change.
If we do not have our money all figured out, we cannot quit our jobs. I am not sure about you, but I know I am not going to have it all figured out and I will most likely be waiting forever. If this is the moment you are waiting for, it will not come in a neatly bowed package.
When I resigned from my job two years ago, it was scary but exciting. One of my self-set conditions to be able to leave was to have paid off all of our debt except our house. I had done this. I resigned in February of 2020. In May of 2020, my car’s engine went ka-put. This car was paid off and the thought of taking out a loan (again) was disappointing.
Before making any purchase, my husband and I had figured out how to make our other two vehicles work for however long we could. We had an old truck that we used minimally and his car. We felt like we would be okay with these two options. I felt proud of us for considering this. In the past, we would have gone on and on about the bad luck we had and then go out and immediately fix our problem with a purchase. Instead, we saw the problem, considered multiple solutions, and did not consider it to be bad luck in any way.
Instead of being upset and ungrateful, I trusted it would all work out. I had not come this far in my journey to turn back because I was facing a possible car payment.
I called my (awesome) car guy and told him my situation. He kept his eye out for what we needed and called me within the week. I purchased a new used car. It was pretty much the same as I had but it had a bit lower mileage and a few years newer.
In hindsight, I am so glad our car broke down when it did. If it had done this even two months later, there were no used cars available. We would have had to buy something brand new or really old and paid WAY more for it as cars were in high demand and low production.
We drove our car to the auction hoping to get $500 for it. We got a check for $1800! This money went right back into the loan to help pay for the newer one.
It all worked out.
I still left my job as planned. I did not freak out or have a breakdown over this obstacle. I saw it for what it was: my ego’s test to see if I would be able to handle this. An attempt to thwart my career change. It was checking to see if I really wanted to leave. This could have been an excuse to stay, keep things the way they were. It would have been easy to explain to others and they would have understood. But I could not explain it to myself. My heart and mind had already taken the leap. My body just needed to follow.
Remember, these are things that could happen but you do not have to allow these thoughts to control your decisions.
Your ego is going to try and stop you.
You will have doubts; they will be loud.
Something financial may appear but you can see it as a detour instead of a stop sign.
Whatever comes up, look at it and recognize it is just an obstacle. The first one to overcome. A test of your commitment to your new change.
If you are looking at investing in yourself, you cannot make a mistake. Money is hard to spend on ourselves for some reason. But you are worth it. Your future and your family is worth it too.
Take the step.
Contact the coach and keep going. Do not let your ego thwart you and convince you things are okay. If you already reached out for help, you know you are ready.