I. Have. Arrived.
It’s our third year of homeschool. Every veteran homeschool mom I have encountered has told me it takes at least three years to get the hang of this.
Well, here I am! It's the start of year three and I am just waiting for the magical formula to arrive.
Four years ago, when I told my best friend that I thought I might homeschool, she was shocked. As an educator herself, we both would have thought she would leave the classroom to go be with her kids long before me! For sure. We could have put a million dollars on that bet and been that much poorer today.
Homeschooling just wasn’t something I would have EVER considered or ever wanted to do. But I know God is using me for something. He brought me through the many years as an educator only to have me leave the system and try something totally uncomfortable for me.
Honestly, I still don’t want to do it some days. It's way harder for me to do this than it would have been to remain a teacher or administrator. I was skilled at having 30+ kids listen to me and like me; my own children are a different story. I have to check in with God daily to see if I am still supposed to be doing this.
My business is starting to take off. I get really excited about the idea of investing more time and effort into it. I have all these ideas floating around my brain, only to remind myself that I cannot dedicate myself to this anymore than I am. God gave me this business to allow me to homeschool. To provide a way forward. We’ve made it to coveted year three of homeschool!
He continues to provide for us. And while I am over here thinking about how much I could grow Letter the Lawn, all I hear him saying is, “Meagan, your family needs you.”
I attended morning prayer services in August at our church. I don’t know what I was expecting from this, but it wasn’t what I got (story of my life).
The first week, I could feel God's presence; it was strong. The voice continually said “Meagan, your family needs you,” I don’t think I was expecting that. I was sort of praying for the boys to want to go to school, or for the business to grow. I was praying for the church and people in ND. I was thanking him for all that He is done in my life and how many blessings I have received. All I heard over and over again was, “Meagan, your family needs you.” I just cried because it's a clear message, but I can interpret it in many ways.
So whether this means I continue homeschool or not, it means my family is first and above all else. I need to work to be present with them no matter what we are doing. I can't worry if I'm doing homeschool right or if they are going to be better or worse for it; all I can do is continue to trust God and know that I am where I am supposed to be.
I got it, God.
God is showing me how to be present; how I can be a business owner and still homeschool my children. This story of testimony is how He's doing this.
I looked for a set-up person for Letter the Lawn for months. Months! Nothing. I had a couple of inquiries but once they got more details, they vanished. I decided I couldn’t worry about it anymore and if I was meant to find someone, God would bring her to me.
Just a month ago, one of my business-owner friends asked if I had filled the position. I told her no and I had given up. She proceeded to tell me her boyfriend might be interested. He sounded qualified, almost too good to be true. I had only hired women in the past so it seemed a bit odd but I wanted to give him a chance.
He’s been working for me for one month now and is doing so great! He truly cares about how the signs look and is open to feedback. He wants to do well, is reliable, and responsible.
Boom. God did that through my friend.
I didn’t.
She didn’t.
GOD did.
I know God is providing a way forward; I need to be patient and sustain my business for now. I feel the urge in me to push it forward, but I also sometimes feel an urge to go back to the classroom. And then, I hear God.
And his answer is neither.
It’s to be right where I am for now.
The hardest path for me: to just be present.
I love so much about my life, but it can be difficult to be truly present without planning for a future.
So, we will relish that we have made it to year three. Whether that means we make it to year four, five or six as homeschoolers or head back to traditional school is not up to me. I will just continue on my path forward of prayer, taking each day as it comes and enjoying my days at home for as long as I can.
In the meantime, if anyone wants to remind me to be present, be in the moment, focus on my family, and not worry about the future, feel free.
You’ll be helping God out with his plan. 😉
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